Thread notes: this thread is open.

The Wolfies: Claire, Dakota
Including: N/A
Inspiration: You're Not Sorry--Taylor Swift
Live Like You Were Dying--Tim Mcgraw
Post Length: 948
Notes: This is tagged for Sesi and Akiak [Miki], but also open.


"All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around...." The words came softly from my muzzle, my dark chocolate brown eyes fixed thoughtfully on the cold waters before me. "I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down...." Dakota paid no attention to my soft singing, as he was playing happily by the rivers edge. He was oblivious to my words, which were directed towards the schizo wolf who was probably somewhere in the Southern United States right now. The wolf also happened to be Dakota's father, my former lover.

"And its taken me this long baby, but I figured you out... And you're thinking we'll be fine again but not this time around..." I didn't know why I was thinking of him right now. I'd done everything I could to push him from my thoughts, to protect Dakota from the pain of being seperated from his father. I wouldn't let him know it, and so I stopped singing before Dakota could think anything of it. He may be young, but he was a smart fella. I couldn't underestimate how much he heard, and how much he might understand.

I glanced to the gray wolf, and I couldn't help but smile at the laughter that was coming from him. He was my only pride and joy, my only son. The miracle baby, he was. I wasn't supposed to have pups, but he seemed to defy the laws of nature. Whatever sickness I had didn't seem to affect his development. "Be careful, be-bo," I said, getting to my paws and trotting over to Dakota. I often used this nick-name for him, and he didn't seem to mind it. "You don't wanna fall into those waters. They aren't like the ones back home, see?" I dipped my paws carefully into the water, encouraging him to carefully do the same. I needed to teach him all that I could, because I didn't know how much time I had left. He needed to survive in this kind of landscape, and on his own. Hopefully I would last until he was just a bit older, and he was able to keep himself warm in these harsh winters. For now, it was I who made sure he was warm, that he wasn't hungry, and, most of all, was happy. Sometimes I wasn't sure if I was doing the best job I could, but I tried.

Dakota copied my movements, and sensed my caution, so he wasn't reckless about it. He made sure he didn't fall in. "Oh!" He yipped, yanking his paw away from the water. I laughed, nudging him affectionatly. "That's why you gotta be careful 'round here, bud." He looked up at me, chocolate gaze meeting chocolate gaze. He nodded, and then returned his gaze to the icy brooke. A fish darted by, and his ears pricked with excitement.

Dakota may have been a smart fella, but he was a pup, and sometimes he forgot what he was doing. I knew almost at once what he was going to do, but I was just a second too late. "Look Mama! Fishy!" He yipped playfully, and he bounded down the river bank, watching the small, silver creature. He wasn't paying attention, and the river bank wasn't straight cut. It was jagged, and so if you tried to walk right beside the river, you'd have to jump over the parts where the land gave way to water. "Kota!" I shouted, rushing towards him the moment I realized what was going to happen.

I was a second too late.

Dakota's ears flipped backwards, laying flat on his head as he registered his name. He skidded to a halt, swiveling around to face me. His hind paws met uncertain ice, which gave way and sent him into the river. He gave a frightened yelp, clawing desperatly at the ice as he whimpered loudly. No, it wasn't shriller than whimpers. He was terrified, and the shock of the cold on his haunches helped none. I reached him in the next instant, and I bent to grab the flesh of his neck. It was still loose, from when I had carried him around by his neck when he was younger, and I hauled him up onto the ice. The ground I was on was actually earth, and not ice. Thank heavens for that.

I dragged him further away from the river, and he didn't protest. He was trembling under my grasp, and I didn't let go until we were a good few feet from the water. It was then that I let him out of the grasp of my jaws, but then I attacked him furiously with my tongue, licking him to get rid of the water that had soaked into his fur. He didn't protest, but only whimpers as he cringed into my warmth. "I told you to be careful. I told you." I was only frantic and angry because I worried. And scared. Terrified that the river may have swept him away, or gotten him more wet than it did. He probably wouldn't be damaged or anything because of this incident....So long as I kept him extra warm until he was completly dry. "Sorry Mama," He whimpered softly, shutting his eyes as he shivered.

I didn't respond, but I only felt relief come over me. I looked around, looking for the forest. It was a good distance away...And I wasn't sure if there were any old badger dens or fox dens that I could use...Well, before I got him to any den, I needed to get him dry. Just thank goodness that he was safe.

Thread notes: this thread is open.

The Wolfies: Dakota, Claire
Including: Akiak
Inspiration: New World Symphony No. 9-Finale
Post Length: 286
Notes: So short compared to the last one. :/


The wind wasn't too terribly bad, but at that moment it decided to pick up for an instant. It sent another round of shivers across Dakota, and I moved so that I was standing over him, and he could recieve my warmth from my underbelly. The water from his pelt started to dampen my pelt, but that was a minor concern right now. I'd freeze tonight if it meant Dakota was warm. I'd do anything to protect him, and that was no understatement.

Snow flew up on my right, and the right side of my pelt was lightly coated in it. I stiffened as I heard a masculine voice, and it hardly occured to me that he was asking how Dakota was. A snarl burst from my throat, and my head snapped up to face the gray wolf beside me. I was snarling heavily now, edging Dakota away so that he was on the other side of me, no longer under me. I turned to face the male before me, and it never occurred to me that he was bigger than I was. I was bigger than normal for a regular female wolf, but regardless, the males were still larger than me.

I shifted Dakota even further backwards, increasing the distance between us and this stranger. I never thought once that he was trying to help--my mothering instincts were on full alert, and because I had thought Dakota was so close to be taken away just earlier, I was reacting harshly to the smallest things. "Don't you touch him," I said, the words coming harshly from between my teeth. "I swear, if you touch him--" I didn't bother finishing the threat--my body language was clear enough.

Thread notes: this thread is open.

The Wolfies: Claire, Dakota
Including: Akiak
Post Length: 852
Notes: This is tagged for Sesi and Akiak [Miki], but also open.

'I won't touch him, I swear.'

He spoke in a cool tone, one that made me think he was trying to reassure me. I was eyeing him suspiciously, and I didn't stop the snarls that were still flowing from my throat. I wouldn't let up my guard until I knew that Dakota was safe. He whimpered, and I wanted to turn and continue warming him up, but I couldn't turn my back on this male, not when I wasn't sure. Dakota just pressed into my flank, taking in my warmth.

'I just wanted to make sure he's okay. I saw you pull him out of the river and came to help.'

He still spoke in that cool tone, and he let his ears perk up and his tail in a nuetral position. My brown eyes took in all this, looking for any sign of aggressiveness from him. I couldn't find any, even though my mother instincts were telling me to either high tail it out of there or to chase him off, possibly to even attack. No, that would be stupid. My rational self was becoming dominant over the mother side of me, and I began to see clearly that he was just trying to help. I let my snarls fade, and my ears, which were pinned aggressively against my head, lift upwards. "Yes, he's okay," I said slowly, glancing back to where the gray and brown pup stood shivering at my flank. His eyes were fixed on the stranger, a curiousity in them. He wasn't afraid of meeting new wolves, and the only reason there was a slight wariness in them was because of my reaction towards the male. I didn't relax my muscles, but I left them tense. I wasn't going to let up my guard just yet, but only let it up enough for him to help. If he could.

"Just wasn't paying attention...." I looked back up to the male wolf, still watching for signs that his intentions were changing. They still seemed the same as before, just trying to help. Okay, that was a good sign. I needed all the help I could get--raising a pup by myself wasn't exactly easy, and when there was a wolf along the way that was willing to help me for a little bit, a night or so, I would take the help. I should take the help now. Yes, I should.

"My name is Claire, and this is my son, Dakota," I said shortly, to get the introductions out of the way. It was irrelavent to me at the moment, with my cold pup standing here in this harsh landscape, but I didn't want to be rude. Or maybe I did, but I wasn't allowing myself to be at the moment. Whatever. It didn't matter. "Do you know of a den around here? Some place out of this wind so he can get warm again?" There, now I had asked the important part. The only part that mattered to me right now. I looked at whoever this wolf was, and I was sure that he could detect the hope in my eyes. I felt it in them, at least.

I broke the eye contact for a moment, and not because I was submitting like most wolves might think, but because they were flicking around the landscape. The river was behind me now, but I didn't have to worry about Dakota wandering off right now. I was positive that he had learned his lesson today, and I could also feel him beside me still. He wasn't leaving my side any time soon. And then, in front of me, there was a hill that this stranger had come across. Had he come alone? Were there other wolves with him? Was there a pack close by? I knew that there was one around here, Las Estrellas Frias, but I hadn't been aware of any others.

The worry flared in the pit of my stomach, followed by fear. Here I was, with no idea of where I was except the general knowledge that I was somewhere in Mexico, worried to death over my cold, wet pup and delayed over warming him because of this stranger. Not to mention that there could be others with whoever he was. I'd never felt as stressed before this moment, but all the facts seemed to fall into place and the picture came before me.

Okay, okay, one thing at a time. Come on now, think. I needed to get Dakota warm. So hopefully this guy knows some place I can got to get him warm. Once I get him warm, I can find a pack to get into, or maybe this guy is a part of a pack I need to get into. It just depended on how the facts were.....And I would need to take this stuff one step at a time. The only thing I needed to consider was that I'd take things one step at a time, but I'd rush those steps, because I didn't know how much time I had left.

Thread notes: this thread is open.

The Wolfies: Claire, Dakota
Including: Akiak
Inspiration: Live Like You Were Dying--Tim Mcgraw
Gone--Montgomery Gentry
Post Length: 767
Notes: This is tagged for Sesi and Akiak [Miki], but also open.


I noted that he gave a nod to Dakota, and it didn't set off those mothering alarms again. That was a good sign, I supposed, because I needed to trust this stranger. In a wasteland like this, trust was vital. I just had to check every now and then that my trust wasn't being wasted. Dakota smiled at the male, his tail waving behind him even though he was still shivering. That was my boy: good-natured despite the conditions.

'Actually, right over the rise is an abandoned bear den. It should be big enough for the four of us.'

My dark eyes flickered to the hill that I had watched earlier, when all the stressed questions had bounced around in my mind. At first I felt relief, because he knew of a cave that was relatively close, but then my brain registered the second part of his words. All four of us? I tensed, my eyes raking warily over his face while a low, quiet growl slipped from my throat. I still could not find signs of him changing his intentions, and that did not make me feel further worried, but I still felt a need to be cautious. It was vital for survival, of course. The male straightened up, and looked like he was about to turn, but then paused.

'Oh, I'm Akiak, and my sister is at the den. She'll be quite fond of your little one.'

At that, I felt the tensions in my shoulders fade away. Just his sister with him, and that was it. No pack to worry about, no large group of loners with him to worry about...."Thank you, Akiak. I can't thank you enough," I told him, truely grateful. The relief was visible on my face, and I even exhaled a sigh, letting my tail fall from its stiff, horizontal position. It fell between my back legs, where it normally stayed in the loose position. Dakota shifted beside me, padding forward a few steps so that he stood beside me, and not at my flank. He leaned on my side for the warmth, still.

Akiak--I was glad to finally know his name--then turned, and started to lead the way up the hill. I hesitated for just an instant, and then I stepped forward, keeping my feet on top of the thick snow. I hated it when my weight made the snow break and I fell through. It made it just that much harder to get back on top. That had always been the wolf's advantage--our paw pads were built to run on top of the snow, while our prey wasn't equipped for it. It's what made us the dominant species these days, with all the humans gone.

We topped the hill that bordered the river bank, and with the treacherous river behind us, I felt another weight lifted off my shoulders. A wide plain was stretched before us, and it didn't seem like there was any place for a den to be found, but my eyes found another hill, close to the one we just topped. I could see an entrance in the face of it, and that must be the place he had spoken of. By it lay a fawn--it must have been his prey before he found me and my dripping wet son.

Dakota was being unusually quiet, and I gave a glance down to him. He was watching Akiak, his brown eyes still widened with curiousity. What was going through his mind right now? I could never be sure, and I wasn't going to ask him at the moment. We were close to the bear cave, I assumed, and my first priority would be getting him nice and dry again.

I turned my head to look forward again, and my breathing hitched as a pain shot through my body. It had no origin, and it seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, with no sign that it was coming. I stumbled in my light trotting, but I didn't fall. My inner pain seemed to go unnoticed, for the most part, for even Dakota who was right by me and could see me didn't detect anything out of the ordinary. But what did this mean? What did this strange, sudden pain that had disappeared as soon as it arrived mean? A felt a spasm of fear shoot through my system, and I at once knew the answer. My eyes cast downward to Dakota again, and I felt dismay and sorrow in the next instant.

My strange, unknown sickness would return. And it would return soon.

Thread notes: this thread is open.

The Wolfies: Claire, Dakota
Including: Akiak, Sesi
Inspiration: Live Like You Were Dying--Tim Mcgraw
Post Length: 1049
Notes: This is tagged for Sesi and Akiak [Miki], but also open. I actually feel like I did quite decent on this post. :] I'm getting into the character of Claire easier, so...yeah. ^^


My fear and pain seemed to go completely unnoticed. Akiak picked up his fawn without a glance to me, and Dakota was blissfully ignorant. Blissful with the exception of being cold, obviously. I felt a mere twinge of relief, but I couldn't bring myself to be as relaxed as I was moments before. It was almost as if the realization itself was causing my body to feel wary, even though I knew it was all in my head. Nothing had changed from the moment before....Other than the fact that I knew my sickness was back, of course.

I lifted my eyes from my son, trying to shove all the fear that was building in my brown orbs into a container and to lock it up. I wanted to deal with it later, at night when all the thoughts from the day flooded me at once. I would deal with it then, but not now. Now I had other things to tend to--most importantly, my wet son.

My eyes lifted, and focused in on the the gray rock that formed the entrance of the cave. I saw a white shape, and I almost disregarded it because I saw so much white already, but then I realized it was moving. Before I could tense, my brain realized that it was Akiak's sister. The tension never came, thankfully. We padded inside, with the white wolf moving so that Dakota and I could pass easily. I got a a few yards away from the entrance, so the cold winds wouldn't have hope of further chilling my son, and then I turned to begin licking my son again. The quicker he was dry, the better. Actually, I could detect a difference in here already. It was a bit warmer than the outside world, and Dakota would certainly benefit from that.

A part of my mind registered the nests near the back wall of the cave, and I found that strange, but I didn't dwell on that right now. Maybe later I'd be curious and ask, but not right now. Dakota was still silent, letting me roughly lick the moisture from his pelt without complaint. What was he thinking about? His unusual silence was nagging at the edges of my thoughts, and it was distracting me from my mission.

'Hi! I'm Sesi!'

I glanced up to her, the high voice ringing in my ears. I hadn't heard a voice that high pitched in a while--my own was an alto range. The last high pitched voice I had heard had been the voices of my sister and niece. Of course, there were the occasional loners, but I rarely came across them. Anyway, the she-wolf looked very eager, her eyes full of excitement and her tail swaying behind her.

'I'm sure you've met Akiak, my brother. But who are you?'

I opened my mouth to introduce myself and my son, but she rushed on without giving enough break in her words.

'And why are you wet? Did you fall in the river? I almost did that when we first got here!'

Good God, did she talk all the time? Was it her that filled the entire conversation without the other participant having to speak? My irritation flared, but the soft laugh coming from my side made me stop and think about it. I looked from the new stranger to Dakota, who seemed to not mind Sesi's bubbly personality. He seemed more relaxed than he had been earlier, his ears pricked as his gaze was fixed on Sesi.

'I'm sorry, I should've warned ya about her. She's a little over energetic. A problem she's had since birth.'

I raised my brow. A little over energetic? That was an understatement in my opinion. I made no comment, however, about the matter, and I went on to introduce myself before Sesi could cram any more into her side of the supposed conversation. "That's fine," I said, giving a light smile that tentatively entered my eyes as well. I was still unsure on whether or not to be comfortable here, though Dakota, being the carefree pup he was, was relaxed. He still shivered, but it seemed to be mostly forgotten. "I've had to deal with it before." My smile became slightly more genuine as I said that. That part was defiantly true--my sister's daughter, Theravada, had a similar personality as Sesi's, though she wasn't as near outgoing as this young one seemed to be. Well, maybe she wasn't so young in most wolves' eyes, but at my age, most wolves seemed young. "My name is Claire, and this is my son, Dakota."

Dakota gave a toothy grin. "Yeah, I fell in the river! And it was c-cold!" His teeth chattered, and he stuttered slightly as a result. I lay down, coaxing him with my neck and muzzle for him to lay down as well. He lay beside me, in the space between my front legs and back, my body slightly curving to fit the way he lay. This was the easiest way to keep warm, as I could use my tail to lay over his back paws and I could throw my neck over his. It was convenient. "He had quite an adventure," I murmured, a slight smile, yet a still worried smile, at the corner of my mouth. I bent my head to touch my nose to the side of his face, as if trying to check for a temperature. He was a bit warmer than previously...A good sign, in my book. He was still quite chilly, yes, but it was no longer life-threatening. I wasn't much of a healer, but I'd picked up a few things from my sister. "Yeah, I saw a fish, a-and I wanted to c-catch it....But somehow I fell. Mama pulled me out-t." He glanced up at me, fondness and gratitude in his eyes; my eyes. Somehow, the gesture of love gave me a pang--I wouldn't be around much longer, as much as I'd like to see him grow up and have a family of his own.

"And then he came." Dakota tilted his head to where Akiak was. He flashed another toothy grin, and the contentedness of my pup soothed my fears and worries, if only temporary.

Thread notes: this thread is open.

The Wolfies: Claire, Dakota
Including: I'm Already There--Lonestar
Post Length: 667
Notes: This is tagged for Sesi and Akiak [Miki], but also open. As an FYI, all this stuff about Claire getting sick and whatnot is based off a true story. My aunt, who Claire is based off of, passed away from cancer a few years ago. She wasn't to have children, and here comes my cousin, who Dakota is based off of. So all the background stuff I'm writing about actually has something to do with my own past, things that happened in the early 2000's. ^^


'Yeah? I'm glad he did, otherwise I wouldn't have met you, Dakota.'

Dakota threw a grin up at Sesi, oblivious to the voice she was using. Well, it was the voice I usually used with him, because to me he was still seemed to be the little pup I had given birth to about a year ago. He might not be considered little to some, but he would always be my little boy to me. It was hard to see him as anything else, especially when I would not see him to be a big boy. That thought shocked me--had I come to that realization? Had I accepted my fate? A chill crossed over me, and it had nothing to do with Dakota's camp pelt pressed into my side.

I was not ready to accept anything right now. This wasn't going to happen. I would fight this off like I did last time, like I had done before Dakota was born, in the pack before my sister's. Even their Healer had been wrong about my condition--she had told me that it was impossible for me to have pups, and look who had come along. So this wasn't major. That pain earlier....it was nothing. I was sinking deep into a state of denial, pushing away all the reality of the situation and building up a frantic wall in my mind.

All the while I was denying the truth, something had occurred. I had frozen up, tears welling in my eyes without my realization. Dakota was looking expectantly up at me and Sesi had gotten to her paws, standing to the back of the den while Akiak moved closer to the entrance, by his prey. I had gone numb, and while my ears had heard Sesi's words, my brain had not registered it. What had happened? What kind of transition was happening? I slowly unfroze, figuring out how to work my body again. My ears came to life, after my eyes, and it caught the edges of Dakota's chattering voice. "...Mama? Can we?"

What? Can we do what? Oh God, was my condition far worse than I had orignally thought? Condition! What condition?! There was nothing wrong with me! God, I was so confused. I felt like curling up in the dark corners of this den, to get away from the outside world. That was not possible. Dakota needed me. "Can we do what, sweetie?"

Confusion flashed in his brown eyes. "Sesi just told us we could us her nests. Can we sleep in them tonight?" Oh. That's what I had missed. I looked up from Dakota's curious, confused gaze and to where Sesi stood, the nests a tail lengths from her feet. I had registered that they were there earlier, but gave them no mind. I didn't give them much mind this time, either. "Oh...Um, sure, if you wouldn't mind...." I felt slightly awkward, and also worried, for I wasn't sure if I had missed anything else.

I got to my paws, almost a little too quickly, as I felt dizzy after I did so. Wierd. Oh well. Dakota stood after me, trotting to the nests that Sesi had created. I didn't miss that his trot wasn't as light as normal--I knew it, he was hiding the fact that he was cold. He was colder than he was letting me on. I was right behind Dakota, curling myself around him after he plopped himself down. He automatically leaned into my warmth. I didn't notice the cold I felt from him, for that wasn't the most important thing right now. I looked up at Sesi, nearly forgetting that I needed to thank her. I owed a lot to these two right now. "Thank you, Sesi. I'm forever glad that y'all have been kind to us."

"Mmm, this nest is warm." I chuckled softly at Dakota's observation to himself, and I bent my head to nuzzle my nose in his neck fur. I loved him so much.

Thread notes: this thread is closed and tagged for Akaik and Sesi [Miki].

The Wolfies: Claire, Dakota
Including: Sesi, Akiak
Inspiration: I'm Already There--Lonestar
Post Length: 1409


'Oh, it's no problem. I just couldn't leave a freezing pup and his worried mother out in the cold. I'm sure you would've done the same.'

Would I have? Earlier today, I wasn’t sure what the answer would have been. I could be nice when I wanted to be, though most of the time it wasn’t apparent, for I was always fretting over Dakota. I had to cram years of spending time with him into a few weeks, or months, or however much time I had left. It wasn’t a pleasant thought, and I didn’t like to think of it. It, however, was inevitable.

I smiled at Sesi, my nose still in Dakota’s fur, but my brown eyes cast up to the white wolf. She was very bubbly, and I don’t quite know what I would have done without her and her brother. Maybe it was time to think ahead, to think about where I was going to leave Dakota….I didn’t trust them completely yet, of course, because that would come only with time. However, it was something I needed to think about. I’d see how things went, and I’d have to talk with Akiak about my condition. One of them needed to know, and Akiak seemed to be the more serious of the two. I’d tell him in the coming week, though it depended on exactly when….

I heard the quiet breathing of Sesi in the nest beside me, and the not so quiet breathing of Dakota. He wasn’t quite asleep yet--he was somewhere in between--and his was still shivering, so his breathing wasn’t yet smooth. I gently licked his fur, going the wrong way to further warm him. He shifted, pressing further into my warmth without even opening his eyes. Yes, he was almost asleep.

I glanced to the entrance of the cave, to see that it was barren. Akiak had left, apparently. He was somewhere close, I guessed. I looked back down to my son, parting my lips to softly begin a lullaby I often sang. It often brought awful emotions to the forefront of my mind, but it was quite appropriate right now. These emotions needed to be voiced, though at the moment no one was around to hear them. The ones that were around were asleep.

'I'm already there, take a look around; I'm the sunshine in your hair; I'm the shadow on the ground; I'm the whisper in the wind, and I'll be there until the end. Can you feel the love that we share?’

My lips were trembling, tears were threatening me, threatening to spill over onto the gray fur under my eyes and also onto the silver back fur of Dakota. I hadn’t cried in a long time. I’d always been stubborn against the emotion, putting on a strong face. Now, however, I couldn’t keep up with it.

‘Oh I'm already there.'

Even in the afterlife, I’d make sure I’d be watching him, every moment, everywhere he went. Even when he was grown and very able to care for himself and others, I’d be watching him. He was the only reason I had to stay alive right now, to fight my sickness and prevail. The only reason.

I needed air. The cold, crisp air of the night had always soothed me, and right now I needed it to calm me down. I had no idea how long it had been since I’d lay down, but Dakota was no fast asleep, no longer shivering. He was like a little heater, and I was using his warmth just as he was using mine. He’d be fine, then, if I just stepped out for a few minutes. Besides, I didn’t feel tired. Wary, yes, but not sleepy. There was quite a difference, and I distinctly recognized it. Whatever sickness I had, it constantly made me tired, but rarely sleepy. I could never sleep when I felt this wariness until I was ready, but I always felt as if I could just lay around all day. It was such an awful feeling.

I slowly moved so that I was standing, trying not to disturb Dakota as much as possible. He didn’t wake at all--he was such a heavy sleeper. I touched my nose to his neck fur, as if afraid to leave him for even a moment. I pulled away, using my front paws to move the nesting material so that it covered at least some of his body. There. Now he wouldn’t be so cold.

And with that, I turned and padded out of the stone cave, into the cold wilderness I’d been traveling in for so long. The wind wasn’t so harsh to me, but then that was because it wasn’t a concern of mine. Little things I had once worried over no longer concerned me in such ways. My mindset had changed in just a matter of moments. No, that wasn’t correct--I’d been having the feeling that something would happen, that my sickness would soon return, but I’d only realized it was absolutely true in a matter of a few seconds. Life just wasn’t fair, was it?

I stood in the area just outside of the cave for a while, though I wasn’t sure if it was a while or not. Time was a huge concern of mine, yes, but right now it wasn’t. Not just yet…I don’t know. All this was really confusing to me. What was really confusing was this--how could a night be so beautiful, so peaceful and amazing, and yet could be so bitter toward me? Towards the wolf population itself, too. It was so hard to survive in this bitter world, where ice broke and you’d fall in a river in freezing weather, where you think you’ve found the love of your life and they turn out psychotic. Life was unfair. I hated it.

This night, so cold, crisp, and clear was wondrous. The stars were bright, clear and defiant against the night sky. It was the stars that dominated, that took up the entire sky. The milky way was very clear tonight, and the millions among millions of stars sparkled and shimmered. Never had I seen anything more beautiful in nature….So full of awe, the things that never failed to make you pause and take a moment to appreciate it. Things seemed more apparent to me now, and I felt super aware of the beauty. The thoughts of death being right around the corner tended to do that to you. You didn’t want to experience it, trust me. When I finally rose out of my wondering state, I realized that there was another wolf out here. Of course there was--I had noticed Akiak was gone earlier. Of course he was out here. I was just so out of it, that was all.

I sighed, and then moved my feet, making my way slowly to the gray wolf that stood a ways away off. The deep breaths I had been taking earlier helped, and now I had a hold on myself. The tear stains were still on my face, and it was obvious, but it was of no importance, really.

When I got close, I noticed something strange. I wasn’t the only one crying tonight--I could see tears spilling over from Akiak’s eyes, a pained expression on his face. I didn’t have to ask what was wrong, for I could immediately guess that it was something of his past that was bothering him. I didn’t have six years of experience and insight for nothing. “Life sucks, doesn’t it?” I felt as if I didn’t even need to explain myself, for I felt that, somehow, we were on the same page. He hadn’t even spoken to me right now and somehow I knew this. Strange. Why would I get such weird feelings like this? I didn’t know, and I didn’t even attempt to find out. It didn’t even matter. I sighed, glancing away from his face as I sat down. My eyes were staring down at the snow, but I wasn’t really seeing the snow. I was only looking there because it was somewhere to look.

Thread Notes: this thread is closed and tagged for Akaik and Sesi [Miki].

The Wolfies: Claire, Dakota
Including: Sesi, Akiak
Inspiration: My lovely aunt. <33
Post Length: 940


Akiak was crying like a little pup before he realized that I was there, and it was then that he tried to get a hold of himself, but his crying didn’t bother me. I’d cried so much in my life that seeing others cry, well, it didn’t really seem out of the norm. My perspective had changed. Have I mentioned that already before? I couldn’t remember. I felt like my thoughts were repeating themselves, but I didn’t realize that they were. I wish I could have a break from all this stress, but I knew that there was no way. Life didn’t work that way.

Akiak looked surprised at my comment, but then he made an attempt to half-smile at me, a sheepish look on his face. I hadn’t meant to comfort him, for when I had been in these type of situations, crying beyond control, it had never helped for others to make stupid comments to try to make me feel better, even they and I both knew better. Ah, did that even make any sense? I must be losing rational thought. Maybe my freak disease was worse than previously realized.

‘Sure does.’

He cleared his throat, quiet for a moment as he looked up at the sky. I let my gaze wonder up there as well. Was it really sky littered with stars, or was it stars littered with bits of sky? There were so many points of light that it nearly seemed as if it were the latter.

‘I don't usually cry at night. Or at all. Ever.’

His tone sounded defensive, but there was something about the way he said it that didn’t convince me of his words. I looked down from the sky, to see that his gaze had dropped, too. He grimaced slightly.

‘I just mean, I'm sorry you had to find me in this state.’

I lifted one shoulder, grimacing myself. A gesture to show that it didn’t really matter to me. “It‘s no problem, really--know how many times I’ve lay up at night, crying while Dakota sleeps? Too many times for me to even begin to count.” I sighed, closing my eyes and dipping my head. “There’s something you need to know about me. Something before….Before you and your sister take myself and my son in. ”

I hesitated, still not opening my eyes or lifting my head. I wasn’t sure where to begin, but I felt that this information was necessary. I sighed again, and then opened my eyes, revealing chocolate brown irises. I looked back up at Akiak. “I guess I’ll make this short and sweet, as to not waste your time. I’ve got some kind of freaky cancer, and chances are, I’m not gonna be around much longer.” I grimaced, but went on, “I need…I need you and your sister to do me a favor. When I….When I pass on…Can you two look after him? Or make sure he gets to a pack?” I bit my lip, feeling bad for just throwing this on him. I felt kind of rude, feeling like I was being insensitive to whatever he had been crying over. I pushed the hesitancy away, telling myself that this was necessary. It was essential for Dakota’s survival, and there was nothing that I wouldn’t risk for that.

“I’m sorry for throwing this on you like this. I truly am, but….It seems appropriate for it to be said. And considering I might not last through this winter, this is important, for my son’s sake. Not for mine. ” I watched Akiak’s expression, hoping with all of myself that he would respond in a positive way. I felt unsure, though I was trying to convince myself that he was a good wolf at heart. Surely he was sensitive--I’d just seen him bawling earlier. I don’t mean that in a bad way, either, because I myself did that. Wasn’t it just earlier tonight that I’d been crying? While singing to Dakota in his sleep….

I looked away from the male, my eyes moving down to the white ground below me. I was sitting at this point, my eyes fixed on the snow. It seemed to shimmer, though I knew that it was impossible. The moon was not out, and that was the reason the stars were shining as bright as they were. It seemed that the light from the moon made the light from the stars weaker. Nights without the moon, the stars were more vast in numbers.

“I…I feel like I’m being insensitive. I probably am. I’m sorry.” My sentences were short because I was trying to keep a good hold of myself. I didn’t want to start crying, even though I was sure that he’d have no problem with that. “If you want to talk…you can. I’ll listen.” And that, my friend, was true. Yes, I could be stubborn when I wanted to be, and I didn’t come across as the nicest wolf to some, but for those who knew me, it was different. I wanted Akiak to know me, and no, I’m not meaning it like that. I was done with romance--done. I’d tried three times and it just didn’t work. So no, I wasn’t looking at Akiak like a lover; I was looking at him like a friend. A friend that I could trust, that I could depend on and who could depend on me.

Thread Notes: this thread is closed and tagged for Akaik and Sesi [Miki]. I'm so sorry for the quality! I've got no muse today...So so sorry.

The Wolfies: Claire
Including: Sesi, Akiak
Inspiration: My lovely aunt. <33
Post Length: Don't even wanna count


He was quiet for a while, and that worried me. Would he say no to my request? That was what I was expecting, because really, this was not his job. He should feel no obligation to me or Dakota. He wasn't the father, nor of any relation. He didn't look at him, but at my own gray paws. I closed my eyes, waiting for the rejection that was sure to come.

'No. It’s alright. I’m just thinking. I’m sorry that – that things are the way they are for you.'

I simply nodded, glancing only once up at him. I was thankful for his sympathy, but I wasn't sure if that would be enough. Akiak sighed, and I waited for it. I closed my eyes once more. Here it comes....

'I’ll take care of Dakota, I promise you that.'

..... What? I did not hear that correctly, did I? That must simply be my imagination, playing up tricks and telling me what I wanted to badly to hear. This was not true. My eyes were still closed, and I waited for the true answer. But nothing came. Had I not been imagining things? My eyes slowly, and reluctantly, opened. The moved up, to lock with Akiak's gaze. My mouth parted, dropping in my amazement. I couldn't remember how to work my vocal chords, but even if I could, I was at a loss for words.

I can't remember excatly at which point I unfroze, but I did. A sudden grin lit up my face, and I jumped to my paws. "Oh, Akiak, do you really mean that?" I indirectly decided to invade his personal space to throw my head briefly over his. I didn't care what he thought--I felt like the world was lifted from my shoulders. I pulled back in the next instant, elated. "You don't know how much this means to me--I've spent so much time worrying over it...I thought for sure you wouldn't say yes..." I trailed off, still smiling. I hurried to explain, so he wouldn't take any offense. "I mean, I thought that you wouldn't 'cause he's not your responsability. You're not his father, nor his brother..." I sighed, relaxing my muscles. "Thank you so much. Never will I be able to repay you." This was what I'd been praying for. That Dakota would be in safe paws.

'There's no need to, I'm sure Dakota will be his own worth.'

I was so elated that I didn't catch the phrase that was ambigious. I was too caught up in my relief, feeling like the stars were just within my reach, as if the sky was no limit. Of course, the stars, technically, would soon be underneath my paws. I'd pass on and my realm would be in the heavens above. Despite there being the entire world for my eyes to gaze upon, the brown orbs would be fixed on the little one that I cared for now.

When most wolves spoke of heaven, they often spoke of the ones they wished to rejoin. I didn't have any family members that I'd been especially close to that were now on the other side. I'd never truely liked my mother, the selfish, silly wolf that she was. Never had I been close to my step-father, who thought he was my biological father. I'd known better, and had run off as soon as I'd met my first lover. I hadn't been close with my biological father, either. He'd passed on, thanks to some sickness (which could possibly be the same one I have), but never had we bonded. The only one I wished to see again was my sister and her family, but as far as I knew, they were still alive and well. I wished that they would continue to be. Well, at least I'd be young and in my prime when I died. Grace would, more than likely, but much older than I, and old she-wolf. I'd be young in heaven, and that thought had made me smirk, a small laugh in the middle of terror.

'What I mean is, I can already tell Dakota's a good wolf. He's going to do great things.'

Since I hadn't caught the first part, I didn't understand why he was hurrying to explain himself. Normally, I would have rose my brow and been like, 'wow, how much cheesier can you get?' but I didn't care. Nothing mattered to me right now, I meant that in a good way. I felt as if I could do anything....

A pain in my side reminded me that that thought was obviously wrong. I couldn't do everything, for my time was limited. The thought was grim, yes, but I could deal with it at the moment. My happiness had taken an awful hit at the reminder, but I could work with this. As long as my sweet Dakota was safe, I could deal with whatever life had to throw at me.

I looked back at Akiak to finally answer him. "Thanks--I know he will too. I can see it in him, just waiting to bloom." And that sounded cheesy, too, but like I cared. I glanced over my shoulder, back to the cave that we both had left. "Well, it's cold out here, don't you agree?" Honestly, I hadn't been paying attention to the temperature at all. That was the last thing on my mind. "Wanna go back? I dunno about you, but I'm beat." I wasn't sure that I'd be able to sleep, with all this fresh adrinaline running wildly through my viens, but I knew that I was tired. I recognized it--it wasn't all wariness from the long day. The strange disease had a lot to do with the way my body felt right now.